Why does the same relationship issues keep happening to me
Well, welcome everybody to this week’s podcast. My name is Paul Fletcher and I am your host of The Healing Source. We are now into season number four and we’re talking about relationships. Today is podcast number three and today we are talking about why does the same relationship issues keep happening to me? This happens quite a bit in my experience with talking with people for well over 30 years. I’ve been one of those people that everyone goes to and shares their woes with because I offer grounded and sage guidance and since about 15 years ago having trained with Dr and Master Sha I have become much wiser about the root causes of relationship. Last week you may remember that we discussed specifically about relationships and why we have such base and root problems and I’ll give you a gentle reminder here that our relationships are not just from this life experience.
We have souls and between you and the person you have a relationship with is a series of experiences. Those experiences, think of them like living in a cocoon, intertangled, there are positive and negative both. And those experiences create a soul, and this was last week’s episode. If you missed that then be sure to subscribe and go back and watch it because it was very powerful and it sets a very strong foundation for what you can do to start bringing resolve to your relationship and relationship-based issues. What a lot of people do not understand is that when we enter into any kind of a relationship it is very likely that we have done that before with that person. And that becomes more and more true the longer that relationship is. In other words, if we just meet somebody and we never see them again then it probably was a first time meeting but we tend to know when that one person is very comfortable with us. It could be a friend, it could be a partner and we know, we feel comfortable, we’ve been there before and so when we have relationship difficulties or, in this case, when the same things keep happening to us in relationship, well, guess what? That’s not supposed to be a big surprise but I’m always surprised when people tell me about, ‘I can’t believe that, once again, I attracted someone who does this!’ I hear that kind of comment more than you would guess and if you’re shaking your head on your side of the screen going, yeah, that’s happened to me also then you’re really going to appreciate this podcast.
So, let’s start by setting the foundation, shall we? The foundation is that you are a soul and every soul has but one purpose, to become the greatest source of love and light. That’s where they came from and that’s where they are returning to. So, every relationship is to assist us in that process. We have very likely been with the spouses and partners we have now or have had before now and then last week I went into greater detail about how it is a very wise idea to go back and heal those old relationships at the level of soul, of course, but it’s very important to go back and heal them.
And the reason why is very simple, if you do not then the same reasons they came into this lifetime they will come into the next one and they will mess you up in that lifetime, as well. And when I say that I mean it from a loving space meaning if you do not learn from it and transform it and bring love and light into it, forgive the blockages that showed up for you, then those same blockages will remind you either in new relationships in this lifetime or in future lifetimes you will have a very similar set of occurrences. Because the purpose, again, for you as a soul is to become one with Source which is going to be impossible if you have animosity, hatred, anger, resentment, you were abused, whatever the story is it’s never going to be released from your vibration unless you do the necessary work. When you look at the great beings like the Buddhas and Jesus and Mother Mary and the Krishnas and the other great beings that precede us, they do not hold resentment, they do not hold malice towards someone that spits in their face. That’s a very high level of consciousness but prior to that high level of consciousness they were in the same place that you and I were in, they had to go through the process of forgiveness, of letting go of seeing why it occurred and allowing themselves to rise above it all from that higher consciousness’ space. That’s what’s being asked of you. So you can, if you wish, hold onto that past but it’s probably not going to help you all that much and the truth is that it will continue to follow you.
Now, most people in this lifetime, unless they are not working on themselves will have experiences where they attract to themselves the same kind of relationship issues. What’s an example? Continually having difficulty with father figures or males. Continually having difficulties with your children. What’s another example? Continuing to somehow attract a romantic relationship where your heart is open, but their heart is closed. What’s another example? Continuing to attract a relationship where it starts out nice but then that person becomes verbally abusive or physically abusive, etc. Raise your hand if you are one of those that have had that kind of unhealthy relationships and you swore up and down, ‘I’m never going to let this happen again!’ and so you did massive due diligence to make sure that that next person you were with did not have those qualities. You checked their social media backgrounds, you had your radar up, you checked everything, you grilled them with a thousand questions and one you felt it was safe enough you go into the relationship.
And then, lo and behold, a few years later there it was, that same thing you did your absolute best to avoid, right? I bet there’s a good half of you watching this, listening to this on the podcast that say, ‘ Yeah, that’s me. That happened to me.’ Why did that happen? Why did that same relationship issue come back to bite you in the tail? Well, very simply, you caused that kind of a problem upon another. That’s it, it’s nothing more complicated than that. You caused that same kind of an issue upon another and you don’t remember that, of course, this goes into other lifetimes. But, given that it’s happened once, given that it may have happened twice it’s kind of like a big, red flag going, ‘Hey! Hey! Look here!’ There is a pattern occurring here and it may be time to pay attention to this frequency that’s in your vibration and quit producing more of this pattern that you’re not enjoying. So, this is why it’s so important to see these things so that you can stop bringing more of what you don’t want into your environment.
So, how do we stop that? What can we do to eliminate that? Well, fortunately, the same wisdom applies that has applied throughout the majority of the wisdom and teachings for Tao Healing. Step one is to recognize that it is a pattern. Now, in that recognition you want to take a look at yourself very carefully with an eagle-eye but not with a condescending eye. You want to be able to love yourself, forgive yourself, and be grateful to yourself and your soul for pausing long enough to observe the experience. One of the mistakes that so many people make in their process of healing, in their process of reflection of what happened and how they don’t want to have it happen again, one of the biggest mistakes that people make is they guilt themselves, they degrade themselves, they put themselves down, basically.
‘I can’t believe I did that! I can’t believe I fell for that! You’re so stupid, what is wrong with you?’ Not only that then they put themselves in harm’s way by getting in front of other people that should be more respectful and more compassionate like friends and family members and sometimes, sometimes, not always those friends and family members are just as destructive. ‘I told you so! I told you so, I warned you but, no, you had to have it your way!’ or any variation of that where the family member or friend goes about making the person feel even worse, okay? So, don’t go down that road, that’s not how you heal. Remember, your purpose in life is to become more love and more light and it starts with yourself. Going on a little bit of a tangent here but remember that the majority of self-love issues are because we have low representation of our own value and a great deal of that separates us from our Source Creator.
Our Source Creator loves you exactly as you are, has loved you from the moment of birth to the moment of death in all of your lifetimes, 100% with no variations. You could have taken somebody’s life; you could have saved somebody’s life and your Source will love you equally. What happens, however, is that when we do make mistakes those remain on our soul’s frequency and vibration and then they bring to us the opportunities to return to that pure love and light. So, we want to use these opportunities not to beat ourselves up, we want to use these opportunities to transform that negativity, forgive ourselves, love ourselves, see the value of us reproducing that unpleasant experience in our life once again so that we finally and completely wake up. So that we can say, ‘ You know, I love myself so much that I allowed myself to see this pattern. I love myself so much I am going to forgive myself for putting myself down. I’m going to forgive myself for not seeing the road signs, the red flags. I’m gonna forgive myself and I’m going to forgive all those others that have also entered my field and given me this unpleasant experience, this repeating issue.’
Now, sometimes it’s a repeating issue like a verbal or an emotional abuse, or possibly a physical abuse. Now, the first thing you want to do if you’re in an abusive relationship is you want to, of course, try to heal it through counseling, through communications. If it continues abusive do not leave yourself in that relationship. You can heal the soul-level blockages, you can heal the vibrational issues that attracted it to you outside of the relationship. You do not need to be in the physical relationship to heal it, okay, keep that in mind. But if you are able to without being in harm’s way then it’s a good thing to do. Now, again, on a side note, some of you might fall into the category of codependent. It’s very, very important if you don’t know what this word means to look it up and to really see if you fit that bill. A person who is codependent which, by the way, I was for six years in a relationship so I know what I’m talking about, a person who is codependent basically means their value, their worth is dependent upon another’s perspective. Their value and their worth is dependent upon what you say about me. If you treat me well that means you’re happy with me so now I’m happy. And so if you run through life in any form of a relationship where your happiness is dependent upon another’s perspective or happiness of you, that’s a very, very unhealthy relationship to be in. And the reason I bring that up now in this context is because it could be a relationship issue that keeps repeating, okay, first of off. And secondly if you see yourself, in this example, constantly attracting an unpleasant physical abuse or emotional abuse in these examples, and you stay in them, that IS codependency.
If you purposely stay in a relationship that is physical or emotionally abusive even though you know it’s not good for you, even though in your head, ‘What do I do about the kids? Or what do I do about this? I don’t know how to make it on my own! What am I going to do…’ All of that, the what ifs and what abouts and all that that’s just another form of codependency, that’s just another form of being weak in your own self-confidence. That’s another form of not trusting your Source Creator. That’s another form of not reaching out and asking for help outside of you because to think for a minute that there’s not help outside of you is just wrong. First of all, the Source can help you, your soul can help you, you can do practices like what is being taught here that can help to minimize some of those things and you can recognize that this is an unhealthy pattern.
So, if any of that last five or so minutes of explanation resonates with you then absolutely do not allow yourself to be in an abusive relationship because the kids this or the kids that or the I don’t know why I’m going to do this, or I don’t know why I’m going to do that. Make yourself a plan, develop a plan with somebody who is a professional outside of the home that will help you to rebuild your self-confidence, that will help you to build up a situation where you can have the financial wherewithal or that the state or country can support you in a way outside of that home. Develop a way and a plan out of that abusive scenario, hopefully I’m clear on that.
Now, once you’re in a relationship where the same thing keeps happening again and again, know that you might be on the victim side that you attracted that to you and so how do we disassemble that? Remember, we are quantumly entangled with everybody in relationships. It doesn’t matter if you attracted that junkie boss again, the one that keeps putting you down. It doesn’t matter if you start working with a whole new job and the co-workers are still belligerent towards you and you wonder, ‘What is it about me? Every place I go the co-workers are belligerent towards me and I’m just being me, I’m a nice person!’ That’s frequency in your vibration. In any case when you see these patterns in any form of relationship you attracted it to you. It doesn’t matter how wonderful and swell you are in this life, it’s on your vibration which means you were that same way to others in other lifetimes. So, if your co-workers are always picking on you, putting you down, complaining about you, reporting you, guess what you did?
If you keep attracting an abusive spouse, emotionally abusive guess what you did?! Just look at yourself on that side of the coin and then you know what you in a previous lifetime had done. Keep in mind that the you that is you today is awesome. You could be sweet, kind, never hurt a fly, you already could be giving the shirt off your back to others helping them. You could be an amazing person and, yet, you still get dumped on, why? Because you, the personality today, has already known that you need to be kind and nice and sweet because you know that doing the opposite is not good karma so you’re doing the right things. But why do you keep getting dumped on? Because, in the past, that has not been cleared yet and by showing up in your environment, reminding you of the same relationship issues you want to see it with joy and gratitude. Finally, instead of playing the victim I am going to do the practices to unwind this permanently. So, how do you do that? You call forth those souls:
Dear the soul of anyone in all lifetimes that I have ever talked down to, belittled, reported to the boss when you didn’t really do anything wrong, tried to make myself higher than you…
Whatever it is you identify in any relationship that is repeating that’s what you ask forgiveness for. So, it’s a very easy recognition in many ways. One of the hardest parts of this is transitioning to the actual effective forgiveness. Identifying the victim side of it is not so difficult, you’ve been complaining about that for a long time. Putting it on the other shoe when you do forgiveness you want to do that with depth;
I deeply and sincerely apologize for having been emotionally abusive (we’ll use that as an example) to you or to anyone in any time. I was a different personality then, I’m not the wonderful person I am today and, yet, this has continued to show up in my environment which means at some point in time I wasn’t such a wonderful soul, I made some significant mistakes. Could you please find a way to forgive me. I ask my Source, my Creator. I ask all of the beings of Love and Light to please assist at this time to help me to heal and transform this. Thank you!
So, now what I’m going to do is I’m going to put up a Source calligraphy and we are going to trace together to help clear one of these blockages and use this example. Now this calligraphy I’m going to use is Tao Light, Da Guan Ming is the Mandarin Chinese name for Tao Light and you should be able to see it now. And Tao Light is the Source light, it’s the very high frequency and vibration. So, how do we do this? You connect with the Source calligraphy and those that are listening on the podcast you just close your eyes and connect with your heart, this blessing is coming to you, I will trace for you. But you can, anybody here can access these Source calligraphies by purchasing Dr & Master Sha’s books. All of his books in the last eight years have Tao Calligraphies in them and the most recent book will have the ones with the greatest power. So, just grab a book and then start by following the instructions for tracing the calligraphy. Now, you that are on the listening side follow my guidance.
First, identify just one area that’s a repeating pattern in relationship, could be work relationship, family relationship, partner relationship, choose one now. Choose the condition that’s repeating now. Repeat after me:
Dear this Source Calligraphy of Da Guang Ming, the Greatest Light, I’m so very, very grateful for your unconditional service. As I trace you, as I close my eyes and receive your healing light, could you please help me to lift off my vibration the negative messages, information, and experiences that has caused this repeating pattern to come to me. I’m deeply grateful, thank you, thank you, thank you.
So, now if you’re able to see the image you touch your five fingers together and then you follow the lines of this calligraphy, should be very straightforward, and then we’ll also chant the mantra, “Da Guang Ming, Greatest Light.” So, let us begin:
(chanting and tracing) Da Guang Ming, Greatest Light, Da Guang Ming, Greatest Light, Da Guang Ming, Greatest Light, Da Guang Ming, Greatest Light, Da Guang Ming, Greatest Light (repeats for several minutes). Da Guang Ming the Greatest Light heals and releases this pattern that has brought unhealthy conditions in relationships to me. Da Guang Ming releases this pattern that has brought unhealthy relationships to me. Da Guang Ming releases this pattern that has brought unhealthy relationships to me. Da Guang Ming releases these unhealthy patterns that has brought unhealthy relationships to me. Da Guang Ming releases these patterns that have brought unhealthy relationships to me. Da Guang Ming releases these unhealthy patterns that has brought unhealthy relationships to me. Da Guang Ming releases these patterns that have brought unhealthy relationships to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
So, for those of you that did not feel that was long enough then you should come back and do it again and again. I recommend 10-15 minutes each day tracing one of these Source calligraphies. Longer is better. If you’re not familiar with the empower within Tao Source Calligraphy definitely go to my website wellspringoflight.com I go into further explanation there that makes it very clear just how powerful these calligraphies can be to help us to eliminate the negativity that’s on our vibration. They work, by the way, for health, relationship, finance, pretty much any aspect of your life and it’s a wonderful tool to have along with the forgiveness practice that you can employ anytime, anywhere. You can have your own Tao Calligraphy and you can literally have an image of it on your phone and pull it out if you’re in a stressful situation and it could decompress whatever’s going on for you very quickly.
So, today what we covered is why do some relationship issues keep happening to you? And the short version of that is it was already on your vibration because the same issues that is a pattern you had caused to others in this or a previous lifetime. And the probability of these returning is very, very high unless or until you clear that negative frequency and vibration. How do you do that? By applying positive frequency and vibration through various Tao Healing methods including forgiveness practice and Tao Calligraphy. Now, of course, I am a certified Master Teacher and healer practitioner, I have trained with Master Sha for 15 years. I have some of the most high healing transmissions to help release this negative information much faster than you would be able to do on your own. So, if you want to honor for the personal healing certainly you can contact me. I also have a course, Heal Your Soul, Heal Your Relationship which you can find on my website, wellspringoflight.com. So, I encourage you to follow the links in the bio to subscribe to my podcast and learn so much more. There is a tremendous amount of wealth and information that you can receive through further understanding of Tao Healing.
So, until the next time I see you, have an awesome day! Bye-bye everyone.
