Understanding Soul to Soul forgiveness in Relationships

Season #4 April 20, 2023

Forgiveness is easily one of the most important teachings for healing yourself and healing relationships. Offering, Asking and self forgiveness are the three pillars to recovery of all you hold dear in your heart. Without proper application of these practices , relationships can be very difficult.

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Episode Transcript

Understanding Soul to Soul forgiveness in Relationships
Paul: Okay, welcome, welcome everybody and thank you for coming to today’s livestream. This is a special podcast, this is where we actually go into how can we bring healing to the relationships. This is, of course, The Healing Source, my podcast and I am in season number four where we covered in the first three seasons the physical, emotional and mental aspects of Tao Healing and how you can transform your life. So, if you missed that be sure you subscribe, go back and watch those.

Now that we’re in week number six or seven of the Healing Source specific to relationships. I think I’m going to do one more next week and that will wrap up this series. But this one today is one of the most important lessons and teachings that I can give you. Today’s title is Understanding Soul to Soul Forgiveness in Relationships, that’s the title. Now, one of the unique things about relationships and I covered this in my earlier podcast is that you are a soul having a relationship with another soul. So, if you missed that podcast make sure you go back and listen to that. It’s very important and it will help what we’re going to do today make a lot more sense. Today we’re going to be focusing on understanding soul to soul forgiveness.

Now let’s set the stage for this so that you can really have a good understanding. I’m going to repeat a little of what I discovered, excuse me, discussed earlier with every relationship you’re having a soul to soul. So, the brief version of what was discussed earlier is that you are a soul that lives forever and anyone you’re in a partnership with or family member or whatever the case may be they’re also a soul that lives forever. Now that’s very different than the personalities. Your personality and the personality of a partner or an ex-lover or a family member is very different than the soul. You see your soul lives forever and then there is incarnations and those incarnations have personalities.

You are the incarnation in this lifetime, you are the personality in this lifetime. You might be a male, you might be a female, you might not be sure what you are but in any case, you are your personality for this lifetime. And it goes the same with those you are having relationships with. Now if those relationships are excellent and healthy and supportive and loving and kind, congratulations! That means that in all the other lifetimes your relationships have, with that person, have been in good standing, you have not been backstabbing or betraying each other. You’ve not made vows and then broken those vows.

Those are the kinds of things that happen when souls are in relationships because when we come into this life experience our soul’s goal is to become one with the Source and what will inhibit that, invariably, is anything that is not in alignment with love. And so very often, unfortunately, we make mistakes in our relationships where we treat somebody very, very unpleasantly, we take advantage of them, we make vows, we break the vows etc. etc. and then that creates an energetic imbalance. So last week, in my podcast last week I spoke about how we are all quantumly entangled so you can see how by creating harm in previous relationships it doesn’t just leave and never come back, it follows us from lifetime to lifetime. And so when we recognize this truth that that literally, that energy that positive energy or that negative energy was on our soul, it’s on their soul and it literally attracted us to each other for better or for worse. Then you set the strong foundation for today’s session which is how to do soul to soul forgiveness.

Now there are three different kinds of forgiveness; there is asking forgiveness, there is offering forgiveness, and there is self-forgiveness and the way I teach it in my course which my course is called Heal Your Soul, Heal Your Relationship. If you haven’t heard of it or stumbled across it go to my website wellspringoflight.com, scroll down, you’ll find it in there, order the course. It’s priceless. You will get 10,000 times your values worth out of it because it takes pieces, you know this series is just tidbits of what’s in that course, it will serve you well. So, I go into far greater detail than I’m able to do here on this short 20 or so minutes on forgiveness practice. But in a nutshell, there are three types of forgiveness: self-forgiveness, offering forgiveness, and asking forgiveness. And if we fail to do any one of these from our hearts, with positive intention and with integrity, then the negative information that was in the previous or current relationships has a very high propensity of continuing to remain in your field and continuing to create problems for you.

Now, raise your hand if you’re one of those people who has been in an unhealthy relationship in this or a different time, maybe earlier in your life, and it was very unpleasant, very unhealthy, you’d prefer not to talk to that person ever again. Raise your hand if you have one of those in your life, right? Some of us we even have that in our family, how sad is that? Where no matter what we try we just cannot talk to that person, okay? This is where soul to soul forgiveness will create miracles. I say will, I didn’t say might, I said WILL create miracles, why? Because you are not the soul, you are the personality that has forgotten that you are a soul first. You run through life thinking that you are you by your name, I am this I am that, I am great, I am small, I am white, I am a college graduate, I make….I, I, I, I, I, you are the personality. And that other person that you might have had some significant blockages with, they’re a personality, as well, that forgot just like you did that they are a soul and when those two souls, them and you, the one from the past that you’d rather forget or if I remember you’d rather not talk to, when those souls, not the personalities but the souls decided, okay, we’re going to come together in this life, we’re going to try to resolve the mistakes we made in previous time. We’re going to meet like ABC and when we do our absolute best to make sure that we don’t repeat the same mistakes.

Well, if you have angst in your heart, irritation, resentment, resistance, I don’t want to see that person again. Yes, I’ve forgiven them I just don’t want to see them again, you think you cleared that one up? Wrong! You are quantumly entangled on a huge level with that person. If you do not have love in your heart for them, if you do not have zero animosity, if you can’t meet them on the street, walk up, say hi and talk to them about their current or future life then you have soul level blockages meaning you have quantum entanglement. Meaning you will meet them again. Now, do you really want that? Most of you, if you raised your hand earlier and said yeah, then you don’t want that, do you? And most of you don’t want to talk to that person again verbally because it was useless before and it will be useless now. This is why soul to soul forgiveness is so powerful, because it bypasses the personality. Now, we have two personalities to bypass, theirs and yours. Yes, just because you are really clear that you did nothing wrong, that you are not at fault and whatever your story is, just because you’re clear on that it doesn’t mean it’s going to magically dissipate from your vibration and not attract them to you again so you have to find a way in your vibration, in your forgiveness practice at the level of personality to truly let it go. So, that’s what we’re going to talk about today.

So let’s talk about self-forgiveness first because that one can be pretty easy if we approach it properly. Self-forgiveness is a recognition that, first of all, everything happens for a reason, very important because very often we put ourselves down, we degrade ourselves, we poo-poo on ourselves, we are our own worst enemies in our head and our silene of our room, right? We go into a depressive states and loop and so forth. This is because we have failed to give ourselves credit for attracting those conditions to us so that we could learn. Instead of the learning we simply beat ourselves up more or we accepted what somebody else may have said. if it was a verbally, emotionally abusive relationship, maybe one of your parents was and then you attracted a spouse that was verbally emotionally abusive and so now you put yourself down so now you’re doing an abuse on yourself even though there’s no one there to do it for you, right? We need to say, ‘I forgive myself for not being clear, awake and aware that I attracted that parent so that I could heal that relationship, but I attracted this spouse so that I can heal that relationship.”

You have to recognize that you at the level of soul, not your personality because trust me, you the personality would you have attracted that parent or that spouse? There’s no way in the world you would have done that purposely, right? That’s just sabotage, why would you do that? You wouldn’t at the level of personality but your soul knows that you need to bring that one into your life so that you can let it go. Well, they were abusive to me, they were mean to me, they were verbally combative, I was right, they were wrong. Well, how has that worked for you so far? Are you still irritated? Do you still want to talk to them? So, in other words, no matter how defensive you become it’s not going to help. Self-forgiveness is saying, ‘I was not awake, I was not aware. I attracted these peoples, this one or this two peoples into my life before I was awake and aware as I am now. But now that I am awake and now that I’m aware I can see the patterns of abuse, I can see the patterns of ABC.’

And if you take my course I help you define where those patterns are, that’s really key, right? You have to see the patterns and then you can do the forgiveness. And, so you forgive yourself, you say, ‘You know what? I forgive myself for beating myself up. I forgive myself for listening to that piece of …. for abusing me this whole time. I forgive myself for not moving out sooner. I forgive myself for allowing my parent to abuse me verbally. I forgive myself for whatever it is. I am worthy. At that time, I was a it lost, I was not awake and aware as I am now, I forgive myself.’

Self-forgiveness is a consciousness, it’s a way of thinking that helps you to reframe how you might have been approaching these events in your life, okay? So really, really be conscientious of that and when you forgive yourself you do it from that truly deep, reframed place. The 16yr old that I was when I was abused by whoever I was not awake, I was not aware. In fact, because of that experience, actually, I have become incredibly strong. Actually, because of this experience I now protect people that had that same experience so they can be survivors, too. I forgive myself for thinking I did anything wrong. In fact, this was purposeful so that I could be of value to myself and others. You want to reframe it in a very positive way not just on a catapult that it might have put you on in a good way but if it puts you on a catapult and what you perceive to be a negative way you need to reframe that and get off of the, ‘I am the same person I was when that happened’ because you’re not. And if you find yourself in any way, shape, or form keeping yourself in that negative loop of being the person you were when that happened then you need to forgive yourself, got it? Okay, that’s self-forgiveness. Again, I go into quite a bit more detail in the course.

The next forgiveness is offering forgiveness. That’s a tough one, right? How do you offer forgiveness to that SOB, that person that was, you know, narcissist or whatever word you want to pull out that best explains them, you probably have a litany of explanations. Lord knows you probably told all your guy friends or girlfriends about how horrible they were. You might have several thousand dollars in debt in psychology fees because of that person, right? So, how can you possibly find a way to forgive? Now, I know, I’m listening to some of you right now and you’re going, ‘Well, I have forgiven them, I have moved on.’ Check yourself. Congratulations if that is 100 percent true. Could you go and stay at their house overnight and it be a non-issue? Could you run into them at the grocery store? Could you see them with their spouse, a different spouse and everything be a non-issue?

Could you just talk to them about life and be like, ‘Oh, that was kind of neat to run into them again.’ If the answer is no, you have some work to do. So, how then do we offer forgiveness? We rise above the consciousness we had at the point of the event, the point of the series of experiences, it could be a 20-year event, right? We rise above that consciousness. Everything, what word did I just say? Everything happens purposefully. You attracted that parent, that spouse, that whatever into your life. That doesn’t mean you’re guilty, necessarily, it means that you as a soul cannot move on or upward in love, in light as an enlightened being until you completely forgive. You have to remember that we’re all souls having physical experiences. We’re not personalities except in one lifetime. Your personalities clash but it has happened before, you guys have clashed before, the lessons were not learned before. Therefore, you attracted them again. You have to come from this higher consciousness if you’re going to do an effective forgiveness and you’re not doing forgiveness with the personality, you are doing forgiveness soul to soul, soul to soul. There’s a beautiful bird singing a song, a healing song.

So, what does that mean, soul to soul? Okay, we’re going to do this together. Think of that person that you have angst with, could be a parent, could be a spouse, you have this eh, it’s really hard to let them go, really hard to forgive them, got it? Repeat after me:

Dear the soul of this person could you please come. Now that soul is a golden light being it is not the personality. Your soul is there, too, and their soul and your soul are like, ‘Hey, how’s it going? Long time, no see. Yeah, I hope these two can figure it out because we don’t really want to do this again, do we?’ So, the souls are enlightened above the personalities, they’re not fully enlightened yet, they’re trying to get there but they’re awake and aware enough to know that you two came together to resolve stuff. They are awake and aware enough to know you haven’t fixed it yet and so they’re hoping you will do much better now.
Dear the soul of ________, please come. Give them love, step number one, give them love. Are you going to open your heard, are you going to allow yourself to have another new, positive, healthy relationship that has no quantum entanglement with it that’s similar to this one that you don’t like, because trust me, if you haven’t resolved it there is quantum entanglement. Those barbs, those barbed wire is in your vibration it will attract more people that has those same unpleasant qualities. I promise you that’s a reasonable possibility if you don’t resolve it.

So, Dear the soul of this person, I love you. I love you at the level of soul. Personality, yeah, not so much, but I love you at the level of soul because I am a soul, you are a soul and I am now awake and aware, I wasn’t before and I really, really wish to clear the vibration between me and Bob, between me and Mary, just choose the name. It’s honestly if they were very hurtful, they you separate them the personality that they were very hurtful, they you know really screwed me up for awhile there and now I’m in healthier relationships, but I can still see some of the problems here.

Honestly, I don’t want to see this person again but I am much more awake and aware now and I am going to offer you, the soul which is connected to this person, my unconditional forgiveness because there’s a few things I don’t know. You see, what you don’t know is if we’ll say Bob or Mary, if Bob or Mary were violent towards you, verbally abusive towards you, physically, emotionally, sexually abusive towards you you don’t know how many times you guys have been playing tennis. You’ve been abusive to them; they’ve been abusive to you. Now you’re on the receiving side but you have no memory of possibly having played tennis and been on the other side. So, if that’s the case, which is almost impossible to imagine, wouldn’t that make you the one that needs to be begging for forgiveness, right? So, you must rise above everything to the level of soul.

Dear the soul of this person, please forgive me. I wish to extend my unconditional forgiveness to … It could be at some point in time I harmed them first and even if I have not and this whole abuse situation, this whole unpleasant situation occurred here in this life, I don’t want to forget and be the abusive one in the future. I don’t want to play tennis. I want to be 100 percent free and clear of this entanglement that’s in my vibration. I’m going to open my heart fully and recognize that that personality was lost. I have grown spiritually, I’m much more awake and aware, they’re still lost, I know they are, but I’m going to offer my unconditional forgiveness.

Not saying it’s okay what they did, just as if if I ever did the same thing to them of course that would not be okay so I’m going to offer my unconditional forgiveness so that we can both release this from our vibration. Never have to play this game of I hurt you/you hurt me ever again and I’m going to truly, truly give them love and truly, truly let it go. You give them love, you truly offer forgiveness, ‘I forgive you for being abusive to me, I forgive you for _______’ It doesn’t mean it's okay, it’s not condoning it. You’re saying I am rising above this and I am worthy. I love myself so much that I am no longer going to hold my heart closed, I’m no longer going to hold this pain of this experience in my heart because that’s how much I love myself, and I’m going to completely, completely let it go.

Now they have their journey, I know I will never see them again, thank goodness, in any lifetime which you do not know especially if you have resentment, if you have angst, if you have anxiety, if you have fear around never seeing them again, it’s not over, okay? You need the healing levels. That is offering forgiveness. Asking forgiveness is what you may have done to contribute to any failures in the relationship be it family or personal, asking for forgiveness for anything you might have done to contribute. You could have communicated poorly, you could have said nothing when you could have spoken up, you could have spoken up in a different manner that didn’t create more malice. You could have contributed in many different ways, and you could have just simply been the victim, but you were not the victim in another previous time.

Maybe in a previous time you were the victimizer, and they were the victim and how the roles are exchanged. You need to ask forgiveness for this lifetime and any lifetime that you may have harmed them. You say, you know, honestly, I don’t remember it. I can’t imagine ever being as unpleasant to you as you have been to me. I just, I know who I am, I can’t even begin to imagine that. However, one thing I do know is that if I ever was, and you’re simply reminding me that I do need to ask forgiveness. And if I have done anything in this lifetime to contribute to the poor quality of relationship, we have then I deeply and sincerely, sincerely apologize. If I have harmed you first in any point in time, any soul, anywhere in time if I have harmed you the way I have been harmed then I ask forgiveness to all souls everywhere in time.

All souls, not just that one relationship. If I have ever, and what are you asking forgiveness for? Very simple, write it down, what have they done towards you? What were you the victim of? Well, they were verbally abusive, how so? Well, they would say I’m fat. Okay, what else would they say? Well, they would say I’m this, I’m that, I’m ____, I’m always wrong. What else did they say? Well, they would do this. Were they physically abusive? Yes, they would do this, etc. Okay, that’s what you ask forgiveness for.

If I was abusive to you or anyone in all time I deeply and sincerely apologize. I’m a good person now, of course, I would never do that. I’ve been on the victim side, it is exceedingly unpleasant and there’s a 50 percent possibility, a 50 percent possibility even if I don’t remember it that it came to me as a reminder that I’ve brought this harm to others. So, if I did, my head is on the ground to every soul in all time asking forgiveness if I’ve ever been this way towards you, okay? You ask forgiveness for everything on that list that you’ve been the victim of to all souls, not just the one that you called. If I’ve ever cheated on you in any time I beg forgiveness. It’s tortuous, it’s the most unpleasant experience when somebody betrays you like that, right?

But if I’ve ever been that way towards another, I beg forgiveness, I ask forgiveness. When you do this you’re clearing your heart. It also opens your heart up to offer forgiveness because now you start to understand, well, My God, if there’s a 50 percent possibility that I have done this to anybody at some point in time and that’s what caused this to enter my field then I need to offer forgiveness to these people because they could have just been into my name, we could have been playing tennis; who’s going to wake up, who’s going to be the first one that clears the soul to soul karma so that we can all move forward in love, peace and harmony, you see? So, offering forgiveness and asking forgiveness are two sides of the same coin at some point, you cannot do one without doing the other. You have to do them both from a much higher consciousness and then all of a sudden self-forgiveness becomes where you can much more easily acknowledge that and do that and not worry about your preconceived notions or how much you might have put yourself down. That was just based on the limited understanding you had at that time.

So, this brings us to the end of today’s wisdoms and teachings. Here’s the overview, Dear the soul of ___ please come, not the personality, okay? I love you. I wish to ask forgiveness, I wish to offer forgiveness for ABCDEFG (list out all the different ways you’ve been the victim) and do both from your heart not only with that person but with all souls in all times that you may have been that way towards, okay? Release them in love and light and let it go. Some people say, ‘Well, how often do I do this?’ You do it until you can look at a picture or be in that person’s presence and have nothing there, nothing. Even if you have compassion or love for them, even better. No fear. No worry. No angst. It doesn’t mean you have to put yourself in their vibration ever again, you don’t have to prove it to yourself that way but you need to have that level of consciousness around it and what this does is it opens your heart. Because very often we cannot have a good, healthy relationship with another until we open our hearts and let go of these things. We cannot trust the other if we have untrustworthy conditions before with others. So, it will help your current and/or future relationships dramatically. It will help you to attract the soul people look for in so many ways.

So, this is where we will end. I’ve got my neighbor next door turning music on, you might be able to hear it, maybe not but that’s okay and so I want to say thank you for joining me today and until next time, have an awesome day! Bye-bye.

Understanding Soul to Soul forgiveness in Relationships

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